Toby

Well, I was shopping in Walmart the other day, (with the intent of buying all of their guns, bacon and American flags) when I spotted a Mooslem running frantically up and down through the aisles, and his name was Abdul-Mohammed-Jamal-Jabar-Steve-Jabar-Omar-Abdul. I was certain at any moment he would yell 'Allah Akbar'. Thankfully, my shopping cart was full of bacon (which as you all know, is Mooslem kryptonite). So I straightened my MAGA hat and pulled up my Confederate flag britches and grabbed a pack of bacon from my cart. I took that Mooslem over my knee and spanked his ass with the bacon while screaming 'Liberalism is a mental disorder!' over and over. Then, by the power of the bacon, Abdul-Mohammed-Jamal-Jabar-Steve-Jabar-Omar-Abdul instantly converted to Christianity and registered as a Republican. Trump showed up and awarded me the Medal of Honor because I probably stopped the next 9/11.